The Untold Love Story

2009-11-19T00:47:00.026+03:00

Hi!

Who are you?

This is a story of a long marathon of two souls waiting to unite. It was the last Saturday of August 2001, I was sitting in a small internet café in Nandagod (Trivandrum, Kerala, India) after my jolly walk with Maria and Lekshmi. I had Tax tuition all Saturdays when I was doing my degree in commerce. This was the time when I was getting into internet chats and e-mails for a deeper knowledge. Many times I would be accompanied by my friend Shine Kurian who was also crazy for internet surfing. But this day he got busy with some other work and he left leaving me all alone in this café. I still remember the owner of that internet café ‘ASWATHY COMPUTER’ who was a lady with a good knowledge of computers. The music was playing in the background and I was done with my internet work. Then I thought of looking for my old friend Shalini Sharma through hotmail. I started adding a bunch of Shalini names in my MSN messenger hoping to get hold of my friend by luck. Many said sorry some didn’t even respond and some asked who are you and how did you enter in my friends’ list etc. Well, it was hell of a time for me to tell them who I was looking for, in that process I came across a lot of tough time. I was fed up with answering all these questions for last one hour to all Shalini’s except for one person. “Hi, who are you? Do I know you?” She replied and this was the turning point in my life.

Shalini Sh…..?

Her name was Shalini but not Shalini Sharma who I was looking for. This Shalini was totally different. In our all conversation she had been very polite to me and in this small chat I realized that she is a dancer. Bingo!! That’s the catch, I had to stick with this conversation for a while. I love dance and I wanted this conversation to go on for a long time to have a dancer friend and

even she started feeling comfortable talking about dance and her performance. After few more chats on dance I came to know that she speaks some Japanese. Bingo!!! That time I had also learned some greetings in Japanese and I started utilizing it to maximum to keep this chat alive. And yes it was a success she continued chatting with me for 15 mints about languages. Then she said she speaks Spanish too, then I said to myself oops wait a minute am I talking with the queen of languages? “Beta Rajiv you are dead”. But I didn’t lose confidence, I continued talking and making it comfortable for her to chat with me. I showed interest in learning Spanish through her and that number worked out well. Up then I realized YES now I can say myself that YES you have a genuine good friend over the net. From that day onwards there is no turning back for both of us to say hi or chat in MSN. We are becoming good friends now.

One day she invited me to play Yahoo Pool Game. Never before I had played or knew about this game but she motivated me and said “come on Rajiv you can play! it’s a simple game”. So, I played. Since I am a fast learner, after few tables she was never able to defeat me in the game. The other advantage of this game was that you play and chat at the same time. So your chat doesn’t get bored and I got survived for not being boring. This made me count the days to go for Tax tuition, obviously not to study but to tease Maria and Lekshmi in class and later chat with Shalini. I could rank those days as my golden days as I was enjoying each and every moment of my college life.

Our Friendship Grew

The friendship went on for a long time, slowly I was getting very comfortable with this girl for sharing my sadness and happiness. Whenever I got upset or needed a good advice I would ask her for help. She always motivated me in my life. I can’t forget the day when I was so upset that I wished I was dead but that day she motivated and encouraged me to look ahead.

2001 was the time I saw **** in my college and fell in love with her. Since I was so naïve in these areas I wanted to have some help from my friends. I did get good advice from my right hand (Lekshmi) and Shalini in a regular base to tackle the situations and conversations. Whenever I was in trouble or sad I look for Lekshmi or Shalini for some help. Also when I was happy I could call Lekshmi and e-mail Shalini about my happiness. I feel so good after talking to these two girls in my life. Yes indeed they were my good friends in all those tough times in college days.

Qatar

I was able to keep in touch with Lekshmi all my life from 2000 but Shalini was not easy to be online. She hardly comes online or sends e-mails. Every time I had to send e-mail refreshing our friendship. She used to send one mail in 2 months. That’s pretty long time huh, but still we kept in touch through emails which was a big deal for me. Later when my affair broke off I couldn’t take much for myself, and then I left the country to live in a new world (Qatar). I was feeling very lonely and was beginning to adjust to this new place. Luckily I was able to get the internet access in my room. I sent an e-mail to Shalini just to refresh our friendship. We spoke to each other first time in 2006 after 5 years on chat and e-mails. I still remember the first phone call she made when I was in Delhi. It was Sunday and I was in Mahipalpur house. I knew it would be her because for last 2 months I was asking her to call me but she never did and in the last e-mail she promised to call me. So I had this guess that this Private call (Caller ID) would be Shalini. So in my first conversation itself I started mimicking my voice to have fun with her. She got trapped and she got afraid. We still laugh about our first ever conversation over the phone. So when I got the internet in my room in Qatar, I initiated the chat again with her then there was NO turning back.

Falling in Love?

By the end of year 2006 we were chatting every day. We never even realized that we have become very close friends. We shared our happiness, our problems, we could talk about any topic and we would carry on easily. The most interesting part was that we understood each other well and we felt that somehow we are connected. We never thought we would ever feel that there will be a time, we both may feel that we can’t live without speaking to each other a single day. Trust me we both never ever thought even in our dreams that we will end up in loving each other. We just fell on love on a pace of friendship. This is where I learned one HARD truth of life that no one can LOVE someone intentionally, it just happens and you just fall in love to the person who loves you unconditionally and that love is real love.

We knew we cannot marry each other, we cannot see each other, parents will not accept moreover it’s just impossible for our relation to grow further.

We didn’t have any reliable facts to prove our love to our parents. What will we say if they ask: did you meet him/her? Did you see each other personally? We didn’t have answers to these questions, so we were heartbroken that nobody will understand the love we have for each other.

We have many differences like, she is Brahmin (vegetarian) & I'm non veg, Language, Culture, Living style, Cast, Horoscope, Age, Nationality, Society, background, family. It was tough but we had to accept the truth that we can’t fulfill our dreams. So we restricted ourselves from talking, we tried to stay off for many days, stay invisible for days so to have some control over our emotions. But at the end we failed, we couldn’t do it to forget each other, finally we broke all those emotions and cried each other over the phone explaining how difficult it is to live without each other.

Planning to Meet and Marry?

We decided to go ahead and get registered marriage not thinking of the world around us. We felt so relieved from the decision and we will get married one day. Now the question is how we’ll get married?I live in Qatar and she lives 9,000 mile far away from me. How can we register our marriage and where? We hammered Delhi as our option since I had my friends to support me for anything. From her parents she was damn sure they will not accept this relation even though the society they live is western culture.

For me I was not much afraid except my mom since she is very short tempered but a very loving mother. My dad gave me all right to select my path to life which I appreciate him for always trusting . So in my family everyone knew that whatever step I take, it will be always right for me and for others. This motivated me that I can register marry and then do the ceremony later in Kerala.

Skype

I should not forget that all the chats we had was with the help of SKYPE, without which I would definitely say that we would have not made to this stage for this unique relation. We even took our marriage decision over Skype. Later only we realized how madly we were in love that life’s very important decision looked to us like a normal conversation in SKYPE. But now we realized that Skype is not just a chat application, it’s one of the members in our life without which we could see no success in our life.

Family Problems

So our plan was to fly to New Delhi in December 2008 and get registered marriage. We were waiting for this date for a while then suddenly the love affair got leaked to my relatives in Doha and my Uncle triggered the fire to my parents saying I am having an affair with a western girl. Bingo!!!

It was the time when my mom was looking for a girl for me and whenever I speak to her over the phone, I delayed it by saying it’s not time yet. She was very worried that I will not get married in my life which is why she always gets angry with me when I say "No" to any marriage proposals. After knowing about my affair with a foreigner she called me to ask what the story is about? I was calm and explained all about Shalini. Then she asked "how does she look like?" I said “mom you will definitely love her so don’t worry about it”. To add maska on it I told her that “you see her first and if you don’t like then I will not marry her. It’s all upto your selection in final”. lol She immediately asked me to send her photo. Then dad spoke to me, he said “I know you will never marry a Kerala girl since you always do the unthinkable. I don’t have any problem unless you are happy with that girl”. I was so relieved on hearing that my parents are okay with that and they don’t have any problem with my decision. But my problem here is they don’t know that I haven’t met this girl or seen this girl in real life. So I had to cover this truth for a while saying that she is from Delhi and I met her in Delhi. That was the starting point for me to tell lies to cover the truth behind this relationship. I was sure it wouldn’t be so easy for me to convince my parents about the love behind this relation, since they had very bad experience with my last Love. So they lost any trust on my love because they feel insecure about my love. Mom did ask me this “Rajiv are your sure this girl will not leave you? I answered mom by saying .. No mom she will not leave me, but if she leaves me then I will never marry in my life”. She was not happy with my answer but still nodded her approval for this unification of love. My sister and parents were happy after seeing her photo and they were happy for me.

Flying to Meet

The meeting was scheduled on 16th July in Trivandrum at my house. I flew on 13th July from Doha to attend my cousin’s wedding on 14th. She started on 13th from west coast and joined her parents in Japan. On 15th they started from Japan to reach Trivandrum via Thailand & Chennai. It was a very long flight and they were so tired reaching to the final destination. One more thing Shalini was flying to India after 10 years.

16th July scheduled landing was at 11 AM, I was at the airport with my sister, her kids, and my cousin waiting for the person with whom you have spoken a lot and seen in 15”inch screen but first time will see her in real. How she will look like, what will be her height, how will she react on seeing me, what should I say to her? How should I greet her? What should I say to her dad? I was getting pissed off thinking all these in my mind. Sister came to me and said, “Rajiv don’t worry, everything will be fine. If you both reach till this far then this day will be the best day of your life. Now don’t get nervous or tensed keep cool.”

Shalini and her parents came out from the arrival terminal and I saw the first glance, Oh my god.. she came walking towards me in pink/purple color top and jeans like an angel coming from the sky. I couldn’t notice anything else except her smile towards me. I was like OMG she looks like a foreigner. “Beta Rajiv control yourself, don’t faint or be stupid in front of her dad. Act like you are cool and strong.”

Yes I was able to pull the situation under control and we managed to greet each other well. My sister’s presence was very handy to handle the welcome scene well. We drove off to Hotel directly to make them relaxed and comfortable after a long flight. On the way to hotel I was just smiling at this lady who was just like me blushing from start to end. Oh my god what a day it was….after years of conversation and smile over the internet I was able to see this person in real. RJ

Shalini meets Rajiv

July 16, 2008

As I was coming out of the airport in TVM I was walking with my mom. My dad was walking ahead of us. My heart was pounding, I could feel on my face and started talking to mom to ease the nervousness. We stepped out, my eyes were looking for him but I was taking it easy as if I was calm. I met Raj’s sister who was standing there with a beautiful smile and she gave me a flower decoration which was so sweet. Then, suddenly a tall man wearing white shirt came in front of me. It was him, he smiled at me, I smiled at him and couldn’t say a single word. We were speechless. For that moment I forgot that there were people around me I just looked into his eyes and felt like I stepped into a different world. That glow in his eyes and that sweet smile comforted me as if he’s saying “I’m here Shalini, everything will be fine”

Shalini meets Rajiv’s family

We were driving from Mascot Hotel to reach Rajiv’s home and meet his family who were eagerly waiting for us. I was wearing a blue/green saree with matching earrings . When we reached I saw Raj’s father coming out the door opening the gate, I said namaskar and touched his feet, and he smiled. Then, I saw Raj’s mom who was standing at the corner of the doorway I immediately touched her feet but I didn’t get a smile. I got worried. When I entered the house I could smell the food hmmm…I finally met everyone by now Kalaa didi, Jeejaji, and the cute kids Shridev & Shriraj. My parents were conversing with Raj’s dad and I just listened. Now we were at the dining table I was sitting next to Raj. We still didn’t have chance to talk to each other openly. Even though I had very little appetite at that time I liked that dal it was sooo tasty and my dad loved it too. Suddenly I see Raj’s mom standing right next to me I became nervous I looked at her and looked down and she said “kha le, aur kha le” she said it so innocently that I couldn’t even say no to her. But I felt so good because I could feel that she likes me, she’s caring.

Our First Date

Finally after a long day we went back to hotel. We were tired but my heart was full of joy. Raj was with us when we reached hotel. It was not that late in the evening my parents said “we’ll go to the room and rest you guys go and spend some together.” Yesssssss….we were waiting for this moment. I went back to change and came back to lobby and there he was waiting for me  we walked together. We went to the dining area then we saw a patio outside where we sat. We started talking and laughing just enjoyed time together. We ordered some pineapple fruit juice which was too sweet and then all of a sudden it started to rain it was so romantic.

Our Engagement/Marriage

We bought the rings the day before the engagement. It was July 18, 2008 our engagement was at a temple name? Our relatives also joined us. That was the first time I wore mund set saree. I liked it and everyone liked it. It was also the first time that I saw Raj wearing a mund. He looked so handsome like a prince. I lit some diyas made of lemon and placed them on the puja thali.

It was crowded, too crowded. Everyone surrounded us. Pundit ji came, papa gave the rings to us and we exchanged the rings. We got blessings from everyone and then it was photo session. Click click click. Suddenly Raj said something in my ear “I think I just saw the lady who’s the owner of an internet café from where I first chatted with you”. I couldn’t believe I said “Are you sure?” Then she disappeared because of the crowd so our eyes were wandering every corner of the temple to see if she’s that lady. At last we saw her and she was coming out of the temple. Raj asked her to make sure she runs the internet café and she said yes and he told our story to her and she was happy and surprised. We took a photo with her. We told ourselves what a coincidence that we get to meet the lady who owned internet café through which we met.

The next day we thought we’ll sign the marriage papers at the registrar’s but it seemed like it won’t be possible. We needed a certificate from the mandapam to prove that we got married. The situation was getting confusing and frustrating. My dad, Raj’s dad, Kala didi’s husband and Raj all were going from one office to the other for any possibilities. All the ladies were at home, we would wait for their call, and they would call us and say it won’t be possible. We were supposed to fly to UP in two days. Finally when they came home they brought good news: we are getting married tomorrow morning and they had arranged the mandap. I couldn’t believe. I was not ready for this I do want to dress up like a bride but I thought it would come later with preparations. Oh my God we don’t have much time…it was already 9:00 PM and we had to buy mangalsutra (tali) order flowers etc. Then we realized it’s time for the shops to close. All the shops were closing and we went from shops to shops asking for mangalsutra. At last we came across one shop which was half shut and were closing accounts. But we pleaded to help us to sell a mangalsutra that night. The shopkeepers didn’t believe the scenario that a couple is here to buy a mangalsutra for next day’s marriage. At last we were able to buy a descent mangalsutra.

It was already late at night and the next morning was our wedding. My mom asked me how do you feel? Are you nervous? You’re getting married tomorrow! I told her I still can’t believe it’s happening. That night I was tired but was unable to sleep, I was too happy and eagerly waited for the next day. It was like it’s a dream and I will wake up any minute. I just remembered the call I made to tell my father (lives in Japan) that I have found someone who is very special to me and ready to marry this person. It took me a lot of courage to say this to my dad but by the time I was calling him and saying all this I didn’t realize that how he would be taking this? He paused for few seconds then his voice changed to a little emotional and that’s when I realized that oh my god I have become so selfish that didn’t care about his feelings. But he made me comfortable by saying it’s a great news and asked me everything about Raj. My father and my mother are very very special to me, they supported me and my family all the time and my father will do anything for our happiness. He loves to make people laugh and creates the environment happy all the time. As I looked at him sleeping very calmly I got tears in my eyes that how lucky I am to have a father like him. I also thank my mother for her support with my father.

Oh my God! it’s July 20, 2008 and we’re heading to Raj’s house. As soon as we entered we just rushed to the room to get ready because we were running late. Kala didi was helping me with saree. This was a red saree I bought in US I thought I would wear for our engagement but now it’s my wedding saree. Raj wore a white shirt with mund. We got ready and headed to mandapam. While sitting in the car he told me we’re getting married today I just smiled and became shy lol

We reached mandapam and it was decorated with flowers. It was very simple. Panditji was there. It was a very short wedding. After the wedding we touched our parents’ feet. We felt good as our parents were there to give us blessings happily. We would always thank our family for their support and love and believing in us. We are blessed to have such parents and we thank them from the bottom of our hearts.

Delhi, Agra, Lucknow, Kanpur

We reached Delhi and it was hot. We stayed at The Park Hotel. It was a lovely designer hotel. The next day we went to see our relatives my mom’s sister’s house. There we got to meet many more relatives and one of them was Shobhna. She is a sweet girl who works in Reliance company. We had a nice chat. The next morning we left for Agra to see the Taj Mahal. It was a long drive. The temperature was rising and we were sweating. Finally we reached our destination. Taj Mahal is as always beautiful and unique. I touched the white marble and took several pics of us.

It felt good that I’m already married to my love and we are together walking like a couple. Something he loves to do is he would pick me up on his arms and he wants that on a pic but he never tells me he’s about to pick me up lol. We reached Lucknow and there we met my mom’s sister and her family. Usha Mausi is a painter and her beautiful house was full of her beautiful paintings. She’s an amazing artist and her cooking was also too delicious. One interesting thing about my mom is that she has many sisters and they’re all great cooks.

Kanpur is my mom’s birthplace. This was the first time I met my grandmother (Naniji) she’s so sweet and caring. Nanaji passed away in 2007. Mom has a big family in Kanpur. I got to meet all my relatives and so glad that Rajiv met all of them. We went to shop with Kanak Mami she bought me 2 sarees and mom bought me a gold set. I got bangles, salwar kameez, bindi, all the accessories I always wanted.

Separation

Rajiv got ready and we were heading to the railway station early in the morning. He was going to Delhi and then catch a flight to Qatar. We were sad inside but didn’t show to each other. When we reached the station he asked someone and then he said “Oh I have to go now I have to get into this train” and this train was just about to leave. I was confused, I wanted to talk to him but I saw him touched my parents feet, then he came up to me and kissed my check and said ok bye I love you” and got on the train. It happened too quickly. The train was moving and he left….

It didn’t hit me until I reached Narita Airport (Japan) I started feeling lonely as soon as I took the flight to Los Angeles. It was a long 10 hour flight and I was remembering every moment I spent with Raj. I missed him so much. When I reached home I wanted to see him online so badly and I wanted to just cry.

My brother Aamod’s wedding was coming up soon and I was getting ready for that. I had my dress which Paloma chose, it was beautiful. Just few days before the wedding I sprained my neck. I was in horrible pain and I thought I couldn’t even attend the rehearsal. I couldn’t even move my neck and I had to put the neck collar on all day long. When Raj saw me in pain he just couldn’t take it and he got emotional.

Aamod & Paloma’s Wedding

A big event and lots of people were there at the wedding. It was a grand wedding in Long Beach and it was not just any place it was in a 3 storey cruise ship.

Babuji Left Us

My grandfather passed away suddenly on Sept. 17, 2008. He had a stroke followed by heart attack. We were shocked and so depressed that we felt that our world just turned upside down.

Loneliness/Stressful Events

My parents came and we all went to mortuary to give last respect to my grandpa. He was cremated there and we got ashes the next day. We all went to the Cabrillo Beach (Pacific Ocean) and put the ashes there. My grandpa loved that beach and the ocean breeze.

We were all going through a very difficult time. We missed him a lot and prayed for him.

Moving Out

We decided to move out of our apartment. Every part of the room reminded us of Babuji. I moved out with Aamod & Paloma. Amma moved to my aunt’s house. It was another difficult time for us because I had always lived with Amma throughout my life up till now. I missed her a lot.

Some Good News from Qatar

Raj had already started looking for an apt. for us. He was also placing ads for teaching jobs for me and luckily I got a call from a school in Qatar. I had an interview over the phone and I was accepted. We were so happy and then Raj got an apartment in Doha. Next thing Raj said “let’s get the ticket and fly next week to Doha.” Everything was happening so fast and I was getting so excited to meet Raj after 4 months

Shalini flies to Qatar?

Oh my God the longest flight ever from L.A. to Qatar via Dubai. This was the first time I was flying to Middle East. It was a long 15hour non-stop flight to Dubai and then Dubai to Qatar was 1 hr. flight. It was long but I was just so excited to meet my hubby that it didn’t even matter. When I reached Doha airport I was looking for Raj who waved at me in the middle of the crowd. I walked towards the doorway and he was there and we just smiled and hugged.

Our Life Begins

I was so happy to start a new life here. I said to myself that now this is my home and this is my world and my new life starts here. I am living my life to the fullest with the person I love.

The Living Dreams

The Untold Love Story